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Tip of the Day

Getting unstuck from negativity to acceptance & adjustment

By March 1, 2021September 12th, 2022No Comments

In the previous article ‘Leaders: Managing your own frustration or fear  I focused on how we can move from anger, fear and frustration towards adjusting to our new reality. In this article I want to talk about getting stuck.
When a big change has been forced upon us, we are also faced with another big decision. 
“Do I accept or reject this change?”
I get it. 
Most of us want to go back to our “normal lives”. But what if that isn’t possible? This is where you or your team can get stuck in a cycle of frustration, blame, disconnection and for some, anxiety and depression. 
The good news is (and there is good news) is that as a leader this is your opportunity to shine and help your people find the silver lining in what is happening around them. 
To identify the new things they are learning.

For example:
Learning – using technology differently and participating in virtual meetings
Attitude – learning how to be flexible and adjust operations and policies
Teamwork – to show greater empathy for colleagues and
Problem solving – finding solutions to issues they have never experienced before. 
There are other silving linings to add to this list.
To get unstuck, try this…
When you or one of your team members is negative, critical, sarcastic or appears to reject the current situation, do 3 things:

  1. Listen and write down what is being said (even if it’s you feeling it)
  2. Repeat back what they said “So, let me see if I get this right, what you are saying is ……… Did I get that right?” If they say yes move to question 3, if not ask them to clarify until you get it right.
  3. Ask them if they have some ideas on a solution and to come back to you with those in the next 24 hours
  4. And if after 24 hours they (or you) appear to still be stuck say “So if you didn’t have that thought or opinion, what would that allow you to do?”

Try it over the next 24 hours in your team meetings, with yourself or even at home with family members.

This technique creates curiosity. Being curious shifts us from a reactive mindset to a more adaptable and problem solving mindset. 

Adjusting to a mindset that accepts the new reality is essential.
Are you going to try this tip? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Margie Ireland works with CEO’s, executives, HR professionals, managers and leaders. Margie is a psychologist with a strong commercial background of 25 years and specialises in supporting highly capable leaders to thrive in challenging times. To discuss your needs and to book an initial no-obligation 15 minute call, click here.