D’oh! That’s Just a Thought: Homer Simpson and Cognitive Defusion
Some days I wake up and Ms Neggy is sitting at the end of my bed. And she has a lot to say! Sometimes she appears in the shower with me, or while I am cycling at the gym. Basically she shows up whenever she wants, without invitation, often before my work day has begun and has nothing positive to say. It’s always negative. Who is Ms Neggy? She isn’t a strange stalker, or my imaginary friend. She is the negative voice inside my head.
If you have your own Ms, Mr or Mx Neggy, you are not alone.
Negative Self-Talk is Common!
- Intrusive negative thoughts are experienced by 80-99% of the “healthy” non-clinical population (Belloch, Morillo, Lucero, Cabedo, & Carri, 2004)
- 60% of the world population spend 60% of their waking hours at work (Mykeltun, 2012)
- Negative thoughts can disrupt performance and are difficult to control (Larsson et al., 2015; Ireland & McAdie, 2015)
- These are defined as a distinct experience that is unwanted, unintended, and recurrent. (Larsson, Hooper, Osborne, Bennett, & McHugh, 2015)
- Negative self-talk is being attributed to stress, burnout and high absenteeism (Glozier, 2000; Ireland & McAdie, 2015)
- Negative self-talk is also common for people experiencing depression, which the World Health Organisation proposed to be the main cause of low job performance and worker disability by 2020 (Mathers & Loncar, 2006)
Thoughts are very hard to change and delete. But why?
Try this.
Don’t think about a pink elephant. Whatever you do, don’t think about a pink elephant. Remember you can’t think about a pink elephant. Please stop yourself from thinking about the pink elephant! And forget you thought about the pink elephant.
Can you honestly say that you are not thinking about or seeing an image of a pink elephant right now?
This demonstrates how difficult it is, to NOT think something. Even reframe it. Reframing thoughts comes from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). However many people find reframing difficult.
- Changing and reframing negative thoughts can lead to further ‘fusion’ with the thought, where they and the thought are one (Marisigan, 2019)
- Larrson & colleagues found that learning to defuse from thoughts reduced believability, frequency and intensity compared to reframing thoughts.
- Krafft et. al. (2021) found cognitive defusion more effective for thought rumination and re-engaging with values based behaviours and actions.
So what’s my point here?
Recall a time when someone close to you said, “You will be fine. You will be great. Stop being so negative. Think good thoughts”. I know when I walk away from an exchange like this, I feel good for a little while. But somehow Ms Neggy reappears. This reappearance is because our mind has a negative bias.
All linked to that reptilian part of our brain that was created to protect us from a lion, bear or crocodile about to have us for dinner. However today, we are not about to be eaten by a dangerous beast (unless on safari) while automatically have a neanderthal response.
Most of the leaders I coach, at first, believe there must be something deeply wrong with them, as they simply cannot turn negative throughs into positive ones. The most common thought I hear is “I am not good enough”. If this is you, there is nothing deeply wrong with you. It just means you need a different approach.
The good news: You can still achieve all your goals, even with an inner-critical voice.
NEW Strategy for your inner-critic : Cognitive Defusion
- This teaches individuals to instead change their relationship to their thoughts, to notice them without the need to dispute or challenge them in order to change undesirable responses and behaviour.
- Cognitive Defusion encourages a person to ask: “Regardless of the accuracy of the thought, is the thought helpful?”
To do this we need to learn how to take a step back from the thoughts.
Step 1: Notice Thoughts. When you experience a negative thought, be it about yourself or someone or something else try this, put this statement in front of it, “I am noticing I am having the thought of……“. Many people find this immediately releases the grip of the thought (defusion) and are able to see it is simply just a thought.
Thoughts are not Facts!
Thoughts are just thoughts. Momentary cognitive events, that come and go.
Step 3: Cartoon Character Play. Pick a cartoon character with a memorable voice. Mine is Homer Simpson. I have clients that have picked Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and my favourite (although not a cartoon character), was David Attenborough (laugh guaranteed if you borrow this one).
Close your eyes, repeat your thought in your own internal voice for example:
“I am not good enough, I am going to fail. I am not good enough I am going to fail”.
Now replace your inner voice with the cartoon character’s voice instead.
“Doh, doh, doh – I am not good enough. Doh, doh, doh, I am going to fail”.
Did a smile appear for you? For many this helps one see how silly the thought is. Cognitive Defusion. There is you, and there is your thoughts. Two separate things.
Learning Cognitive Defusion leads to:
- A less powerful inner critic.
- Confidence in living with negative thoughts.
- Less need to use unhealthy strategies, to stop the thought.
- Enables a person to act, over react
- Return to achieving important goals.
I encourage you to give this a try.
If you want to have a play here are my favourite cartoon character voices.
Homer Simpson Donald Duck Mickey Mouse
If you would like to know more about how I use cognitive defusion in coaching, feel free to email me directly margie@margieireland.com
You may also find it useful to read this blog The Neuroscience behind The Happy Healthy Leader Program which explains the broader framework, including cognitive defusion — an approach that has supported many leaders to be happier, healthier, and perform at their best.
I hope this information has been of value.
Margie Ireland | Leadership Coach and Psychologist (MAPS) (COPS)
